04 de fevereiro

gravidíssima!

por luíza diener

era essa a notícia que eu mais esperava dar!
fui promovida de potencial para gestante!

o neném já está com 8 semanas e 5 dias, segundo o ultrassom.

é no mínimo irônico que eu não saiba a data da minha última menstruação para poder calcular a data do parto, visto que passei o último ano inteiro anotando cada dia que eu menstruava, quanto durava, quais eram os sintomas pré menstruais ou qualquer coisa diferente. anotava a temperatura basal todo dia, antes de me levantar ou sequer respirar fundo e sabia exatamente o dia em que estava ovulando.

tentamos em outubro e novembro e decidimos não tentar em dezembro, dadas as festividades. aí passado dezembro decidimos não tentar mais por agora. deixar pra depois, curtir um pouco, viajar. essas coisas que todo mundo aconselha, sabe? aí aconteceu.

pelo visto foi mesmo dezembro.

semana passada fui ao homeopata/acupunturista e relatei que estava me sentindo extremamente nervosa, agressiva e depressiva. oscilando muito de humor e que as espinhas voltaram (do tempo do ovário policístico). aí ele perguntou:  você está grávida? e eu: sei lá. e então ele resolveu me passar um exame beta hcg só pra tirar a teima.
fiz à tarde e à noite, enquanto o marido tomava banho, resolvi ver o resultado na internet, escondida. jurava que ia dar negativo.

aí, qual a minha surpresa, eu vi um 81682.0 mUI/Ml que, segundo o exame, indicava pelo menos 5 semanas de gestação.
não acreditei, tremi e fui lá, de roupa e tudo, interromper o marido no banho. entrei correndo no box e, chorando, abracei ele – que não entendeu nada e pensou que eu tinha me machucado ou coisa parecida.
então eu dei a notícia: acho que você vai ser pai!
ficaram os dois meio atônitos e perplexos, sem saber direito qual era o peso daquela notícia.

depois eu o levei para ver o exame no computador e tentar enteder aquilo direito pra mim, que já estava embaçando a vista e tremendo que nem uma vara verde.
decidimos não nos empolgar muito até a ecografia. enfiei na cabeça: só acredito quando ver e ouvir o coração bater.

no dia seguinte, fui a uma ginecologista/obstetra que eu nunca tinha visto (já que a minha está de férias) e eu apresentei o beta, já impresso, a ela: acho que estou grávida. vê aí. e ela, lendo o exame: você tem dúvida? GRAVIDÍSSIMA!
ela me passou o pedido do ultrassom mas falou para eu só fazer a partir de terça ou quarta porque, se estivesse de 5 semanas ainda não daria para ouvir o coração bater.

fui para o trabalho desnorteada e, toda vez que ficava sozinha, aquela palavra ecoava: GRAVIDÍSSIMA e me dava vontade de chorar.
passei o dia ouvindo a música da yael naim, chamada new soul e morrendo de chorar. sempre disse q cantaria essa música pelo meu filho(a).

pois terça agora fiz a bendita ecografia e, quando vi aquele coraçãozinho pulsando nem consegui chorar. fiquei meio paralisada e meu olho encheu de lágrimas. só consegui soltar um que lindo! e fim.

e agora a ficha ainda tá caindo.
não sinto enjôos, mas sinto tonturas.
sinto muito sono e agora tenho que comer e dormir de verdade.
oscilações de humor e desejos comilões.
de resto, tudo igual. eu nunca desconfiaria que estava grávida. acharia que era só uma tpm que não passava (porque até aí, já atrasei 4 meses e não era nada).

mas, gente, ainda não caiu minha ficha:

EU ESTOU GRÁVIDAAA!

grávida de hilan diener!

o bebê deve nascer a partir do finzinho de agosto até setembro, segundo meus cálculos.

feliz 😀

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