02 de maio

depois que virei pai

por hilan diener

quando nasce um bebê, nasce também um pai e com isso muitas coisas mudam e outras coisas se vão. nestes oito meses de vida do benjamin, percebi que estou diferente. eis abaixo algumas coisas que esse pequeno transformou em mim:

1) penso quatro vezes antes de pedir demissão

já pedi demissão 2 vezes na vida. é algo assim libertador e poderoso. quando se é jovem e sem ninguém para sustentar parece tão mais fácil abrir mão de tudo e mandar seu chefe ir catar coquinhos. mas com benjoca na área, acho que fiquei mais cauteloso.

2) não consigo mais ler/ver notícias trágicas envolvendo crianças

dia desses aqui em brasília uma garotinha morreu afogada num espelho dàgua de uma escolinha. fiquei super abalado com a noticia. era como se conseguisse sentir o que os pais estavam passando. sinto compaixão profunda que não sentia antes. é só comigo?

3) gratidão pelas noites mal dormidas

toda vez que acordo no meio na noite para ficar com o benjamin ou bem cedinho, 5h30 da matina, fico pensando nos meus pais, imaginando quantas vezes eles ficaram horas sem dormir por minha causa e o sacrifício que eles fizeram para eu chegar até aqui.

4) não me imagino mais em shows de rock

ano passado teve show do smashing pumpkins. como eu ouvia isso! meu deus! eu e meus amigos eward e robson ouvíamos isso até o ouvido sangrar na maior altura! eles foram ao show e eu fiquei.
depois, numa conversa, disse a eles que não me imagino mais num show de rock. acho que fiquei velho mesmo. mas aí lembrei que na verdade é que há 10 anos atrás eu ficava na muvuca, pulando, fazendo mosh e essas coisas. hoje, se eu fosse num show de rock, só mesmo na área vip.

5) atravesso na faixa

aqui na capital tem uma lei que os motorista são obrigados a parar na faixa. é só chegar, parar, acenar com o braço e eles param! mágico não? se não acredita tem vídeos no youtube para comprovar.
desde que o benjamin nasceu, não me arrisco mais a atravessar a rua feito um doido, correndo entre os carros.

6) amo mais

não importa a hora, local e ocasião, toda hora é tempo de amar. esse pequeno deixou meu coração mole. às vezes estou no trabalho e penso no seu sorriso. aquele sorriso que desmancha todo cansaço, sono e preguiça. um sorriso dele faz meu mundo mover-se.

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